DEAD AIR

DA1.wav - This stuff makes vampires look like cute little schoolboys. -- Natalie

DA2.wav - Hasta la bye-bye. -- Schanke

DA3.wav - The lines are open, if anyone out there feels like talking. Tonight's subject is fantasy. Have you ever acted yours out? -- Nick

DEAD ISSUE

DI1.wav - Do you understand no comment, nada comment, neinte comment, rein de comment? -- Schanke

DI2.wav - Let me hear the words first.
....You were right.
What else?
....And I was wrong.
What? I didn't hear you Nick.
And I was wrong.
You were wrong!!! Yes! He was wrong, hallelujah, I was right...
-- Nick and Schanke

DI3.wav - I think it would spoil the fun if I started to smolder between the hot dog and the ice cream courses. -- Nick

DI4.wav - You know, Nat, with all the changes over the years I've seen for women, for some it seems nothing's changed.
For some of us it has, for millions of us.
And I have the pleasure and pain of knowing one of you.
Lucky you!
-- Nick and Natalie

FATHER FIGURE

FF1.wave - Is this your fortress of solitude?
-- Lisa

FF2.wave - Natalie's Bed and Breakfast.
Hi, Nat, it's me. Look, I, uh, caught one.
How bad?
Well, you know--I'll live. Could you?
On my way. Just got a few more customers to tuck in.
Okay. Thanks.
-- Natalie and Nick

FF3.wave - Where's your girlfriend?
Girlfriend?
The lady doctor. You should marry her. She's got it bad for you. I can tell.
You're nuts, Lisa.
-- Lisa and Nick

FF4.wave - I didn't know you made house calls.
Only for deadbeats. Come on, Nick, let's go take a look at that shoulder.
Why, what happened to it?
Uh--I just pulled a muscle.
The perp riddled him with bullets.
Oh, yeah, right.
-- Lisa, Natalie, Schanke, and Nick

FF5.wave - You know, I have to really stop getting shot. Sometime someone's
going to notice for good.
Hmm, have you tried ducking?
Okay, I'll try it.
-- Nick and Natalie

FF6.wave - You are deranged.
Yes, I know.
-- Nick and LaCroix

DYING FOR FAME

DFF1.wav - I know this is a big step for you, but don't you think you might be overdoing it just a tad?
You've got no idea what it's like to have lived almost 800 years and never tasted a French fry. Pass me the ketchup, please.
Okay.
Thanks. Brace yourself. I'm about to join the ranks of humanity.
-- Natalie and Nick

DFF2.wav - You're needed down at the station now, pronto. So stop doing whatever the hell it is you do in that high-tech dungeon of doom of yours, and get your butt down here, okay. Hasta la bye-bye. -- Schanke

SPIN DOCTOR

SD1.wav -All right, I'm calling it. Our guy died of electrocution. Meaning he did not die before the TV hit the water.
You know what they say, the bathroom is the most dangerous room in the house.
Sherlock Holmes.
Right.
This was definitely not an accident.
Unless the TV spontaneously levitated into the tub...
-- Natalie and Schanke

SD2.wav - Oh come on! He's as phony as his hair weave, Schank!
That's a weave?
-- Natalie and Schanke

SD3.wav - Police! Hold it right there. Oh. Sure hope she doesn't know how to use that thing. (BANG) She knows. She knows. -- Schanke

ONLY THE LONELY

OTL1.wav - Don't worry about me, Schank, I'll be fine. Anyway, who has time for dating?
He does. What the hell's wrong with him?
Beats me. Ask him. See ya.
What is wrong with you, anyway?
Uh...well, you heard the lady. Who's got the time?
-- Natalie, Schanke and Nick

OTL2.wav - No escaping the Creature from the Birthday Lagoon around here, I guess, huh? Oh, my--my favorite. A Twinkie with candles. Now let me see...one, two, three...thirty. Yep, they're all there. -- Natalie

OTL3.wav - Hi, honey, I'm home. -- Natalie

OTL4.wav - He's in the book. Lambert. Sidney...Lambert. -- Natalie

OTL5.wav - Isn't so bad. Not so bad at all. -- Natalie (taking a good look at a DOA Nick)

OTL6.wav - Ah, yes, I believe I'm wearing a formaldehyde-based scent today. -- Natalie

OTL7.wav - I usually buy my lunch from a dispensing machine and eat it by the warm glow of my computer screen. -- Natalie

OTL8.wav - I am a vampire. A vampire?
Yes.
Oh...you're so cold.
I'm dead.
No. No, you're not. You're not dead.
-- Nick and Natalie

OTL9.wav - I guess you don't think that's...a little too familiar for a...first date, huh?
Excuse me? I'm a big girl, in case you hadn't noticed.
Oh, no, no, no, no, I've noticed, I've noticed, I just, uh, happen to feel a little protective.
Protective.
Yeah. Protective.
Protective like towards...a sister, protective.
Yeah, like towards a sister, yeah.
Perfect.
-- Nick and Natalie

OTL10.wav - I--I know it was presumptuous of me to break into your house. I guess I took liberties with our friendship that I shouldn't have.
Look. Please, Nick.
Would you just let me finish? I care about you, Nat. I really do.
I just want you to be happy.
-- Nick and Natalie

OTL11.wav - Last night I realized something.
W--what?
That if I'm not careful, I'll get in the way of you and your happiness. I just want you to know that I--I--re--I really--think that it's a good idea that you're beginning to see someone. And...I'm--I'm tr--I'm truly happy for you. And, uh....well, I won't mess it up by interfering, or, uh, doubting your judgment.
Well, I really appreciate that. Thanks.
Nat?
You've made yourself perfectly clear, all right? I--I just have a lot of work to do.
-- Nick and Natalie

OTL12.wav - Oh, please, don't bother. It won't work. Maybe I'm just one of those people who they say can't be hypnotised. Or maybe I don't want to be.
-- Natalie

OTL13.wav - And...you're not afraid?
Fear is based on ignorance. I'd rather try to understand. Understand who you are and ... what you are.
You are a unique woman.
No, I'm a scientist.
Science won't help you to understand what I am or what hell of an existence I've myself locked into.
What makes you think I can't help you?
-- Nick and Natalie

OTL14.wav - Natalie? Do you have _any_ idea how worried I was about you?
Yeah... Yeah, I think I do.
-- Nick and Natalie

UNREALITY TV

UT1.wav - Yup, it's a dark and.... dark and lonely jungle out there with lots of wild animals masquerading as human beings. Just ask Nick. -- Schanke

UT2.wav - Well, the sight of blood does strange things to some people.
Tell me about it.
-- Nick and Natalie

UT3.wav - Ain't technology wonderful. -- Schanke

UT4.wav - You warm my dead heart, Nicholas.
-- LaCroix

UT5.wav - Oh darling, where have you been? All right, it may be just a rumour, but even so, if you had hung around with your own kind more this past century, you would have heard it, too. -- Janette

UT6.wav - The night technician! The guy's a vampire.
Danny? He seems so nice.
C'mon, we gotta get that tape.
You think you know somebody....
-- Nick and Tawny

FEEDING THE BEAST

FTB1.wav - I came to help.
You all come to help, don't you?
Take my hand.
BACK OFF, NAT!
-- Nick and Natalie

FTB2.wav - I was riding on this wagon and someone pushed me off...
Monica.
Aren't you the one who said, 'Be realistic, Nick?' Well, I've had a fair dose of reality; a good, hard look at the mortal soul. What secrets are you hiding, Natalie? What kind of betrayal?
-- Nick and Natalie

FTB3.wav - Are you writing some sort of medical paper on me Nat? Or maybe you're just seeking some dark sexual thrill? What is it Natalie?
All right! That is enough!
-- Nick and Natalie

FTB4.wav - Because there's no hope is there? No cure. From Monica, from you. It's all a bluff.
Or what? Did somebody tell you there's an easy cure, Nick? 'Cause they were lying. You have to find the answer within yourself and just because Monica failed you, doesn't give you an excuse to stop...
SHE BETRAYED MY TRUST, MY HOPE...
-- Nick and Natalie

FTB5.wav - I mean, all I can say is I like it.
How much?
A lot.
Good.
A lot, a lot.
Mmm.
It's fabulous. It makes me quiver, right down to--
All right, all right, all right. I guess I've tortured you enough...for now.
Thank you.
-- Natalie and Nick

FTB6.wav - Oh, you think I know nothing about art?
No, it's just that you have a velvet painting of Elvis in your locker.
Very funny!
-- Schanke and Nick

1966

19661.wav -

19961.wav - After we interrogate him, you can do whatever you please with him.
You will not be able to arrest him.
Oh, you know him? Perhaps we should interrogate you.
Try...
-- Stazi Policeman and LaCroix

19662.wav - - Natalie, listen to me. Nothing is going to happen to you.
Ah, so it's Natalie, is it? You see, we were never properly introduced. She your girlfriend, officer?
-- Nick and Hostage-taker

19663.wav - Listen Nick, next time you want to play John Wayne, please... don't invite me. -- Natalie

If Looks Could Kill

ILCK1.wav - I worship this woman...
That woman is fifteen years old.
-- Schanke and Natalie

ILCK2.wav - What are you thinking, Nick?
I have absolutely no idea.
-- Stonetree and Nick

ILCK3.wav - Hmm. Feeling our age, are we?
Well, sometimes it's difficult not to.
Relax. Your midlife crisis is at least a millennium away
-- Nick and Janette

ILCK4.wav - Can't remember. He just can't remember."
Post-hypnotic suggestion.
Well, I don't mean to criticize, but couldn't you have been a bit more thorough, say planted an alternate memory for his sake?
Yeah, maybe I could, and ... eventually, I will.
-- Natalie and Nick

Fatal Mistake

FM1.wav - Well, you look like something from the back of the refrigerator. You sleep okay?
-- Natalie to Nick

FM2.wav - I could swear I saw a ghost or something last night.
Someone from your past?
Yeah, someone I knew once, a long, long time ago.
Well that's a tough one. I don't know what to say, I mean, I don't really believe in ghosts, but...
... You didn't believe in vampires, either.
-- Natalie and Nick

FM3.wav - I'm telling you Nick, it's your diet, or lack thereof. It's a scientific fact that people hallucinate when they don't have enough fat or sugar.
-- Schanke

FM4.wav - You know if I don't get home before midnight, one of these nights, Myra's gonna nail the door shut. She's gonna leave my pajamas neatly folded on the veranda. She'll do that, she will. She'll make me to sleep with the raccoons.
-- Schanke

Love You to Death

LYTD1.wav - There's that partner of mine. Come on, we're off to a lingerie photo shoot. Guess where? Your friend's club, the Raven. Sometimes you really gotta love this job.
I'm calling Myra.
She's in Tampa with her mother.
-- Schanke and Natalie

LYTD2.wav - Nicola... So this is where you work. Hmm-hmm. Very interesting decor. Yes. But you know, I could send Alma over, because she did such a beautiful job on the club, you know.
Would you please excuse us for a moment... What are you doing here?
Paying a parking ticket. Picking up young men…
-- Janette and Nick

LYTD3.wav - Oh, Officer Schanke, may I please have permission to go? Detective Knight has succeeded in grilling a confession out of me and I fully admit, I had nothing to do with anything.
Yeah, yeah, you're free to go. We know where to find you. Oh by the way, thanks for coming down, Janette.
Oh believe me, seeing Nicholas here in his element, was all my pleasure.
Nicola...what is she, Hungarian or something?
Among other things.
-- Janette, Schanke, and Nick

LYTD4.wav - What can you possibly hope to achieve gazing at her from afar night after night. Go in there, go in there and introduce yourself.
I would only repulse her. Purity is always repulsed by pure evil.
Purity is an illusion. What is the allure?
Something perhaps that I regret leaving behind me. It's a feeling; my humanity.
-- LaCroix and Nick

LYTD5.wav - No matter how deeply you try to bury yourself in this make-believe mortal world of yours, you cannot deny our connection. We are both still the children of LaCroix. The threads of that connection have been vibrating lately.
Are you sure you haven't been strumming them yourself?
No. You know what I'd give to have that power still. I'm not playing the tune on this one. I'm only hearing it.
-- Nick and Janette